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Title: How to Win Friends and Influence People
Authors: Dale Carnegie
Category:supplementals
Number of Highlights: 18
Date: 2023-08-15
Last Highlighted: **
Highlights
When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
Tags:communication,negotiation
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a personâs precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
Tags:disagreement,ego,motivation,perspective,problem_solving
I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Tags:courage,favorite,justice,temperance
Instead of condemning people, letâs try to understand them. Letâs try to figure out why they do what they do. Thatâs a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. âTo know all is to forgive all.â
Tags:disagreement,perception
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Tags:influence,motivation
âIf there is any one secret of success,â said Henry Ford, âit lies in the ability to get the other personâs point of view and see things from that personâs angle as well as from your own.â
Tags:negotiation,perspective
The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.
So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Little phrases such as âIâm sorry to trouble you,â âWould you be so kind as to âââ?â âWonât you please?â âWould you mind?â âThank youââlittle courtesies like these oil the cogs of the monotonous grind of everyday lifeâand, incidentally, they are the hallmark of good breeding.
If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.
Sigmund Freud said that everything you and I do springs from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great.
Buddha said: âHatred is never ended by hatred but by love,â and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other personâs viewpoint.
Tags:love,problem_solving
âThere is nothing either good or bad,â said Shakespeare, âbut thinking makes it so.â
Tags:favorite,perspective,stoic
âA great man shows his greatness,â said Carlyle, âby the way he treats little men.â
Tags:leadership,stoic
If you tell me how you get your feeling of importance, Iâll tell you what you are. That determines your character. That is the most significant thing about you.
No one likes to feel that he or she is being sold something or told to do a thing. We much prefer to feel that we are buying of our own accord or acting on our own ideas. We like to be consulted about our wishes, our wants, our thoughts.
If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponentâs good will.
Always make the other person feel important.